- WASSUP JC.JP STORY TIME YALL -僕は (Be me) -My girlfriend… - Feed Post by kakka_rot
- WASSUP JC.JP STORY TIME YALL
-僕は (Be me)
-My girlfriend dumped me today. 6 month relationship. I wouldn't be so heated, but because she is a 日本人, and irl convo are awkward, she did it on FACEBOOK.
- LIKE WTF RITE
- So yeah, I needed homie support
- Anyway
- Saw my buddy Kyle
- Got drunk playing Mario Party2 (The best Mario Party IMO)
- Buses stop running at 10:30
- I peace out
- I am mobbing, straight chillin
- Drinking in public is legal in Japan. Drinking a beer bumping BMTH because yolo
- Some bro in a truck offers me a ride. He might serial kill me, but, fk it, once again, yolo
- Homie starts driving the wrong way
- Freak out
- よおおおおおお！今なにしてる
- Dude laughs, I am kinda freaking out at this point. Like, homie said he would hitchike me home, dude is now taking me on the highway to hell, and shit yo, idfk, this dude could be the 外人 extermination man for all I fkn know
- He stops at a store, I say "Fk this noise" and peace tf out. Start mobbing towards the bus stop because I no longer trust this dude, and just want to go home.
- So like, Kyle and I had several drinks, but, I can handle my liquor.
- I am not DRUNK, like, a hair tipsy, but the POLICE STOP ME
- As an American, I don''t fkn like police. American police CAN be nice, but they are generally mean, angry, not nice people.
- So I ask "ごめん。僕のなにしてました？わかりませ.僕はいい人ですよ。大学の悪性。"
- They were bros. Not mean. They took down my ID (which I don't like) but then, they gave me a slap on the ass, and said something along the lines of "I am fine" and the dude drove me to the nearest bus stop (which is where I was just trying to walk in the first place)
Anyway, I am home now.
PROTIP: DONT BE WHITE IN PUBLIC
Honestly, my friend taught me this.
If you get in truble with the police, say: 日本語ｈたべません
(LIT: I don't eat Japanese people)
I know it is awful Japanese, however, generally, they will think you are too dumb to talk, and let you off the hook. Straight up, I used it to get out of a bus ticket the other day I may be an awful person, but, damn, 300 yen buys a lot of groceries, yo.
-僕は (Be me)
-My girlfriend dumped me today. 6 month relationship. I wouldn't be so heated, but because she is a 日本人, and irl convo are awkward, she did it on FACEBOOK.
- LIKE WTF RITE
- So yeah, I needed homie support
- Anyway
- Saw my buddy Kyle
- Got drunk playing Mario Party2 (The best Mario Party IMO)
- Buses stop running at 10:30
- I peace out
- I am mobbing, straight chillin
- Drinking in public is legal in Japan. Drinking a beer bumping BMTH because yolo
- Some bro in a truck offers me a ride. He might serial kill me, but, fk it, once again, yolo
- Homie starts driving the wrong way
- Freak out
- よおおおおおお！今なにしてる
- Dude laughs, I am kinda freaking out at this point. Like, homie said he would hitchike me home, dude is now taking me on the highway to hell, and shit yo, idfk, this dude could be the 外人 extermination man for all I fkn know
- He stops at a store, I say "Fk this noise" and peace tf out. Start mobbing towards the bus stop because I no longer trust this dude, and just want to go home.
- So like, Kyle and I had several drinks, but, I can handle my liquor.
- I am not DRUNK, like, a hair tipsy, but the POLICE STOP ME
- As an American, I don''t fkn like police. American police CAN be nice, but they are generally mean, angry, not nice people.
- So I ask "ごめん。僕のなにしてました？わかりませ.僕はいい人ですよ。大学の悪性。"
- They were bros. Not mean. They took down my ID (which I don't like) but then, they gave me a slap on the ass, and said something along the lines of "I am fine" and the dude drove me to the nearest bus stop (which is where I was just trying to walk in the first place)
Anyway, I am home now.
PROTIP: DONT BE WHITE IN PUBLIC
Honestly, my friend taught me this.
If you get in truble with the police, say: 日本語ｈたべません
(LIT: I don't eat Japanese people)
I know it is awful Japanese, however, generally, they will think you are too dumb to talk, and let you off the hook. Straight up, I used it to get out of a bus ticket the other day I may be an awful person, but, damn, 300 yen buys a lot of groceries, yo.
posted by kakka_rot
Comments 4
Is this a joke? I can see why your GF dumped you. Stop stealing free bus tickets and drinking in public.
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ Yes, another awesome story!!!
And then your mom said you're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
Made my night.
